In an earlier post, we discussed Monica and her wonderful, loving experience with Alexis*.
Alexis opted to give birth and then trust Monica and her husband to raise the tiny infant.
“When we left the hospital,” Monica explained, “The hospital staff and case managers admitted this closeness didn’t always happen with adoption.”
Before COVID, Monica worked as a nurse in the newborn intensive care unit. She has dealt with new mothers and tiny patients for years. She loves both of them—mothers and babies. She took this attitude into the adoption process.
Monica and Mike originally signed with an adoption consultant. The couple was dedicated to finding an agency that supported birth moms. “I’ve seen so many women go through the intense, emotional process of birth,” Monica said. “We wanted an agency that supports women carrying and giving birth to a child. We wanted an agency that gives mothers choice and counseling. They need to be supported throughout the whole process.”
The first contact with Heart to Heart Adoptions came through a friend who had been pleased with their experience adopting through the Utah agency.
“I prayed a lot,” Monica spoke regarding the wait to hear about a child and whether they, as a couple, should renew a contract with their consultant. “I wanted someone to hold my hand, but in the end, we decided to go it alone. I told God I just literally closed this door with the consultant I thought I really needed. I wanted someone with expertise.”
Within the week, Heart to Heart contacted Monica and asked if they would be interested in a situation.
“Darla and Wendy, I love them both. They held my hand and had the expertise we needed.”
“We went into the birth recognizing there were no guarantees that we would take home a baby,” Monica said. “We went into the hospital thinking we need to go in and take care of Alexis. We just wanted to come around and love her, whatever her decision was. ”
“I don’t think this is a natural thing,” Monica admitted her time witnessing the love mothers have for their babies affected her emotional frame of mine and maybe allowed her to empathize more with the mother. “You want to think that ‘this is my daughter,’ but you need to think about the birth mom.”
In this situation, the birth mother had never been out of her home state before. She had never been on an airplane. She had no family or friends in Utah to support her. She was going to have major surgery and hang out with two strangers.
The genuine love and concern the couple felt for Alexis helped them all.
They hugged and got pictures outside the hospital.
“We will see you soon,” they promised one another. “We love you.”
“When we were leaving the hospital, both of us were teary,” Monica said. “I didn’t figure I’d fall in love with the birth mom. She was amazing.”
The family correspondents through HeartsConnect.
The dignity and love with which both families choose to treat one another will mean a child is being raised in a healthy, loving environment.
“Not every adoptive story gets to be this way,” Monica admits. “Our birth mother was every adopted family’s dream.”
Read here about the brother’s reaction to getting a baby sister.
