Fallacy Number One:

Adoption means I don’t love my baby. Reality: The “unloved” child is such a flawed fallacy. Our experience with hundreds of women at Heart to Heart Adoptions proves adoption is motivated by love and concern. Usually, mothers and fathers who explore a parenting plan do so because they believe adoption is the best way to meet the child’s needs.

Fallacy Number Two:

Adoption means I’ll never see my child again. Reality: Most adoptions today are open. Birth parents and adoptive parents have various forms of ongoing contact. Most of our families use a Hearts Connect computer app to send messages, pictures, and videos. In many cases, families plan in-person visits.

Fallacy Number Three:

Children are confused with open adoption. Reality: Mystery and secrets are confusing and damaging for children. Open adoption eliminates secrecy and supports questions from the child. Children develop a healthy sense of identity.

Fallacy Number Four:

I got myself into this situation, so I need to be responsible and keep this child. Reality: The responsible route is to explore all the circumstances, feelings, and needs of the child. Considering all the options reveals responsibility.

Fallacy Number Five:

Adoption will leave me haunted with remorse and grief. Reality: There will be grief, but probably not remorse. Open adoption allows you to have a role in your child’s development. Watching your child thrive with their adoptive family will give you peace of mind as well as a relationship with your child.

Fallacy Number Six:

My family and friends will not approve of placing my child for adoption. Reality: When people are unfamiliar with the realities of adoption, they often hesitate to endorse this move. Education will help those around you to feel more comfortable with your decision.