"It's not fair," Raelyn cried.
The five-year-old had been ranting for several minutes about the injustices inflicted upon her. “I wish I had two moms,” she said, raising her tear-stained cheeks. I only have one mom, and she’s old.”
The “she” in this statement was me. Her only mom. Her old mom.
There are five children in our family. Four have a birth mother, plus me. Poor Raelyn has only me.
So, if I’ve done anything good as a mother, I’ve instilled in my children the worth of their birth mothers. All my children love their other mom, who is, in reality, younger than me.
Honoring your child’s birth family is not just an act of respect but a celebration of the unique bond that created us as a family. One way we do this is through OurHeartsConnect by keeping in touch. Another meaningful way is through literature that normalizes their lives and the importance of birth families.
Here are some of our favorite books.
We Belong Together: A Book About Adoption and Families” by Todd Parr: This book reassures children that families are created in different ways and that being adopted means being chosen and loved.
Stellaluna by Janell Cannon: Knocked from her mother’s safe embrace by an attacking owl, Stellaluna lands headfirst in a bird’s nest. This adorable baby fruit bat’s world is literally turned upside down when she is adopted by the occupants of the nest and adapts to their peculiar bird habits.
Joseph’s Unique Family Tree: In a sweet tale about open adoption, Joseph goes to school for the first time, where he meets a friend who is also adopted. When the teacher assigns the class to make a family tree, Joseph becomes frustrated. This story is about how all families are different and celebrates diversity. With so few resources available for children to understand open adoption, Joseph’s Unique Family Tree provides a beautiful, easy to understand story validating the roles of the adoptee, birth family, and adoptive family.
“Mom and Momma E: An OPEN Adoption Story by Elizabeth Greenwell:
Growing up in an open adoption may seem odd to some, but it is common for adopted children to see their birth families on a regular basis.
In this sweet story, a young boy explores how his moms are very different and yet they both really love him.
“The Red Blanket” by Eliza Thomas This touching story follows a little girl named Grace, who treasures a red blanket given to her by her birth mother. As she grows older and faces questions about her identity, Grace’s adoptive mother helps her understand the deep love that connects her to both her birth and adoptive families.
“Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born” by Jamie Lee Curtis In this heartwarming tale, a young girl asks her parents to retell the story of her adoption, celebrating the love and joy that surrounded her arrival. It’s a beautiful reminder of the unique journey that brought families together and the love that continues to grow.
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