Choosing the Right Family for Your Child
You Make the Decisions

The home your child will grow up in is entirely up to you. At Heart to Heart Adoptions, we empower you to create a parenting plan that aligns with your values, hopes, and dreams for your baby. The key to making this process smooth and fulfilling is communication.
Darla does most of the matching at Heart to Heart Adoptions. Watch the video and then read in more detail about this process. Remember your preferences are the most important consideration.
Start with a List.
Begin by listing your non-negotiables and preferences for your child’s future family. This list will help us understand how to best support you. Here are some examples of things to consider:
Non-Negotiables:
- Open Adoption: A relationship with the adoptive family, with frequent updates and visits.
- Closed Adoption: No contact with the adoptive family after placement.
- Location: Close proximity for regular visits, or no preference for distance.
Preferences to Think About:
- Whether your child will have siblings or be an only child.
- Two-parent household or a single parent.
- Religion or political views of the family.
- Ethnicity or cultural background.
- Hobbies or interests similar to yours.
- Childcare arrangements, such as how often the child will be with a nanny, babysitter, or in daycare.
Communicate Your Needs
Please share your list with us so we can find families that match your criteria. If we don’t have a family that meets your specific needs, we’ll collaborate with other agencies to expand the search.
When we find families that seem like a good fit based on their profiles or videos, the next step is connecting with them via phone calls or in-person meetings.
You have the right to decide what is best for your baby. Some birth mothers prioritize location, while others focus on religion, family structure, or lifestyle. Whatever your priorities are, they are valid. Don’t feel ashamed of your desires—they matter.

Open Adoption Relationships
If you’re considering open adoption, think about the kind of relationship you want with the adoptive family. Here are some examples:
- Minimal communication, such as updates a couple of times a year.
- Regular communication through photos, letters, or phone calls.
- Close relationships, like occasional family visits or even vacations together.
Relationships of any kind require effort and patience, but they should also bring joy and peace. Decide what level of connection feels right for you and your future.
Communication is Key
Just as realtors emphasize “Location. Location. Location.” when buying property, relationships thrive on “Communication. Communication. Communication.” Choose a family you feel you can build a healthy, open relationship with.
Stories from Birth Mothers
Hearing from others who have walked this path can help. Here are a few examples of birth mothers who found families that matched their vision:
A love for education:
Sarah wanted a family that valued learning and would provide her child with opportunities for education and growth. “I asked for a family who loved books and would take my baby to museums and libraries. When I saw a profile with parents who talked about how much they loved reading and traveling to new places, I knew they were the ones.”
A connection to her childhood:
Jessica grew up riding horses and dreamed of her child having the same experiences. “When I saw a family’s profile and they had pictures of their farm and their horses, it just felt right. I wanted my baby to know the same joy I had as a kid.”
Shared cultural heritage:
Maria wanted her child to grow up understanding their roots. “I wanted a family who could teach my baby about our culture and speak our language. When I found a couple who shared those values, I knew it was the perfect match.”

We’re Here for You
You’re not alone in this journey. As a birth parent, you will experience moments of clarity and joy, as well as times of emotional difficulty. Remember, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
“I didn’t know how to find an adoptive family for my baby,”
Cassie looked up from where she had been watching…
If you’re asking yourself, “How do I find adoptive parents for my baby?” know that you’re not alone. Many women…