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Birth Mother Navigates Heartbreaking Miscarriage

Ellie* momentarily ceased wringing her hands to inte rcept her son’s playful trot. Embracing her two-year-old tightly, he endured the hug before scampering off to retrieve a bright red fire engine, his giggles resonating through the hallway. His innocent joy starkly contrasted with the sorrow etched across his mother’s face.


The young mother shifted uncomfortably in her seat,

the hospital visit still fresh in her memory. Weariness clung to her, accompanied by a dull ache, but it was the profound sadness that weighed heaviest. After enduring seven months of pregnancy, she delivered a stillborn baby. 


“I found out I was pregnant by Allen,” Ellie confided, her candor unwavering. “At the same time, I discovered he was cheating on me. The anger and hurt I felt were indescribable. I couldn’t bear the thought of sharing a baby with someone so unfaithful and uncommitted.” 


After enduring the emotional turmoil of one abortion, Ellie knew she couldn’t bear it again. “An abortion would have been wrong. I can just feel it,” she confided. Her gaze followed her son as he darted into the adjacent room, then returned, gleefully launching the fire truck into the air.


“I was not in a position to raise the baby,” Ellie said.

“Allen offered to raise the baby with his new girlfriend.” She drew a steadying breath. “He can’t be a father. That would be the worst thing in the world.”


As Ellie grew to love the idea of adoption, she also knew Allen, as a birth father, had rights. At Heart to Heart Adoptions, we were very careful to explain to her about those rights. The rights of birth fathers in adoption cases can vary depending on the jurisdiction and the case’s specific circumstances.


“The more I thought about adoption, the more excited I became,” Ellie recalled, recounting her conversations with Darla about the ideal family match.


“Feeling the baby move inside me gave me reason for hope and joy. I couldn’t wait for an open adoption. Knowing my child was cared for and being allowed to watch him grow up through pictures, videos, and phone calls. There was such comfort in knowing the joy all of us could feel.” Ellie said. “I loved him. I would always love him, and he would be loved by others.”


Being loved by a community is what open adoption is about. 


Read more about Ellie’s story by going here. 

*names changed